Return to Quantics Home Page
- Opinions expressed in this web page are not necessarily
those of the staff and management of W9GR.
- Portions of this web page may have been mechanically
- This web page produced with 100% post consumer
- Some assembly is required. Hey, it's a kit; a
LOT of assembly is required!
- Any resemblance of characters in this web page
to actual persons, living or dead, is a coincidence.
- W9GR is in no way responsible for the contents
of this web page.
- This web page was recorded live before a taped
- This web page has been made possible by grants
from The Corporation for Public Webcasting and your local WWW affiliate.
- For a transcript of this web page, send five
dollars and mention web page number 807.
- This web page has been closed-captioned for the
- Parents should consider whether children under
18 years of age should hear the sound clips on this web page.
- W9GR will not grant equal time to responsible
parties with opposing viewpoints.
- Employees of W9GR and their families are not
- W9GR was the official displaced W9 station of
the 1996 Olympics.
- This web page has been a reenactment of actual
- This limited warranty is the only warranty made
- The W9GR DSP-3 is guaranteed to be Year
- Quantics is proud to be a non-ISO9000 certified
company. We produce excellent products, not bureaucratic inefficiency.
- The software product and users's manual are provided
"as is" and without warranty of any kind, either express or implied,
including, but not limited to, the implied warranties of merchantability
and fitness for a particular purpose.
- Some states do not allow the exclusion of implied
warranties, so the above exclusion may not apply to you, except in Nebraska.
- This warranty gives you specific legal rights
and you may also have other rights which vary from state to state, except
- In no event will W9GR be liable for any damages,
including any lost profits, lost savings, or other incidental or consequential
damages arising out of the use, or inability to use W9GR software, even
if W9GR or an authorized representative of W9GR has been advised of the
possibility of such damages, or for any claim by any other party.
- Quantics reserves the right to make changes without
further notice to any products herein.
- Quantics makes no warranty, representation or
guarantee regarding the suitability of its products for any particular
purpose, nor does Quantics assume any liability arising out of the application
or use of any product or circuit, and specifically disclaims any and all
liability, including without limitation consequential or incidental damages.
- Typical parameters which may be provided in Quantics
data sheets and/or specifications can and do vary in different applications
and actual performance may vary over time.
- All operating parameters, including Typicals
must be validated for each customer application by customer's technical
- Quantics does not convey any license under its
patent rights nor the rights of others.
- Quantics products are not designed, intended,
or authorized for use as components in systems intended for surgical implant
into the body, or other applications intended to support or sustain life,
or for any other application in which the failure of the Quantics product
could create a situation where personal injury or death may occur. Should
Buyer purchase or use Quantics products for any such unintended or unauthorized
application, Buyer shall indemnify and hold Quantics and its officers,
employees, subsidiaries, affiliates, and distributors harmless against
all claims, costs, damages, and expenses, and reasonable attorney fees
arising out of, directly or indirectly, any claim of personal injury or
death associated with such unintended or unauthorized use, even if such
claim alleges that Quantics was negligent regarding the design or manufacture
of the part.
- Quantics and W9GR are registered trademarks of
- Quantics is not an Equal Opportunity/Affirmative
Action Employer. That's because we're not an employer.
- By breaking this seal, the user hereinafter agrees
to abide by all the terms and conditions of the following agreement that
nobody ever reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter
and the Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Protective Order of the
Elks and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as W9GR shall
deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to come to the user's
home and examine the user's hard drive, as well as the user's underwear
drawer if we feel like it, take it or leave it, until death do us part,
one nation indivisible by the dawn's early light, finders keepers, losers
weepers, thanks you've been a great crowd, and don't forget to tip your
- Had this been an actual emergency, you would
have been instructed where to tune up in your area.
- Specifications guaranteed only when operated
into a 50 ohm load.
- Violators will be prosecuted
- Prosecutors will be violated.
- Traffic fines doubled in construction zones.
- Construction is doubled in traffic zones.
- Alcohol may intensify this effect.
- May cause drowsiness.
- These statements have not been evaluated by the
Food and Drug Administration
- This product is not intended to diagnose, treat,
cure, or prevent any disease.
- If pregnant, lactating, or on prescribed medication,
consult your physician before using.
- You must be at least 18 years of age.
- Quantics products are not intended for use in
life support appliances, devices, or systems. Use of a Quantics product
in such applications without the written consent of the appropriate Quantics
officer is prohibited.
- Batteries not included.
- If redness persists, consult a physician.
- Tax and license, dealer preparation charge not
- Void where prohibited by law.
- Check the white pages of your phonebook.
- The white zone is for loading and unloading.
- There is no stopping in a red zone.
- Duplication is subject to civil and criminal
- Send by midnight tonight.
- Please include a self addressed stamped envelope.
- Dealer participation may affect final cost.
- If accidentally swallowed, do not induce vomiting.
- I'm not a doctor but I play one on TV.
- Slightly higher west of the rockies.
- Traffic fines doubled in construction zones.
- Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.
- Please be sure your tray tables and seat backs
are locked in the upright position prior to takeoff.
- Not responsible for garments left over 30 days.
- Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
- Your actual mileage may vary.
- Please have exact change ready.
- Celebrity voices impersonated.
- TV picture simulated.
- No user serviceable parts inside.
- For maximum freshness, use before date code indicated.
- In Nebraska, you'll be billed later.
- Flammable - do not use near fire or flame.
- Not available in any store.
- Not responsible for accidents.
- Close cover before striking.
- Please pick up a white courtesy phone for a message.
- Keep out of the reach of children.
- For continued protection, replace with a fuse
of the same ratings.
- Unleaded gasoline only.
- Some assembly may be required, except in Nebraska.
- Use only in a well ventilated area.
- Offer limited to stock on hand.
- Selection varies by store.
- Check newspaper listings for a theater near you.
- Sealed for your protection.
- Microwave oven in use.
- Keep plastic wrap away from children.
- We will not be undersold.
- Competitors coupons will be honored, then torn
to tiny bits.
- The use of portable radios, TVs, or breeder reactors
during flight is prohibited.
- $300 fine for non-official use.
- Cooking times longer at high altitudes.
- No shirt, no shoes, no service.
- No substitutions please.
- Weight specified is before cooking.
- No refunds or exchanges.
- Equal housing lender.
- No late seating.
- Subject to search.
- Service charge not refundable if show is cancelled.
- ID required.
- Keep hands away from rotating blade.
- Order by credit card to avoid COD charges.
- Parental guidance is suggested.
- Vehicle makes frequent stops.
- Use of this ticket is subject to the provisions
of the Warsaw Convention.
- Please check box if want one dollar to go to
federal election campaign funds.
- Not affiliated with the International Red Cross.
- Not responsible for accidental vehicle damage
- Remove battery during prolonged storage.
- The right is reserved to refuse service to any
person at any time.
- The Surgeon General has warned that use of this
product by pregnant women may result in fetal injury, premature birth,
and low birth weight.
- All brand names are registered trade marks of
their respective owners.
- You can't buy one, you can only get them in boxes
- Do not back up or severe tire damage will occur.
- I'm a doctor who plays an actor on TV.
- Available in decorator colors, regular, and menthol.
- In case of prizes, duplicate ties will be awarded.
- Travelers over 18 must supply a photo ID.
- RVs and other slow vehicles must pull over when
five or more vehicles are following.
- Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
- Sold only for the prevention of disease.
- WARNING: This Product Warps Space and Time in
- WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece
of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers,
with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional
to the Distance Between Them.
- CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the
Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.
- HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This Product Contains
Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of
Five Hundred Million Miles Per Hour.
- CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty
Principle," It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same
Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.
- ADVISORY: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero
Chance That, Through a Process Know as "Tunneling," This Product
May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any
Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer
Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.
- READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to
Certain Suggested Versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles
Constituting this Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four
Hundred Million Years.
- THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT: In the Unlikely
Event That This Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic
Explosion Will Result.
- PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any Use of
This Product, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder
in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer
Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the
- NOTE: The Most Fundamental Particles in This
Product Are Held Together by a "Gluing" Force About Which Little
is Currently Known and Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently
- ATTENTION: Despite Any Other Listing of Product
Contents Found Herein, the Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality, This
Product Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.
- NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER: The Manufacturer
May Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Product Is Ten- Dimensional.
However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above
and Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven
New Dimensions Are "Rolled Up" into Such a Small "Area"
That They Cannot Be Detected.
- PLEASE NOTE: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest
That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease
to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.
- COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The Subatomic Particles
(Electrons, Protons, etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same
in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers,
and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.
- HEALTH WARNING: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting
This Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its
Velocity Relative to the User.
- IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The Entire Physical
Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally
Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence
of This Product in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed.
- By US Code Title 47, Sec.227(a)(2)(B), a computer/modem/printer
meets the definition of a telephone fax machine. By Sec.227(b)(1)(C), it
is unlawful to send any unsolicited advertisement to such equipment. By
Sec.227(b)(3)(C), a violation of the aforementioned Section is punishable
by action to recover actual monetary loss, or $500, whichever is greater,
for each violation.
- This web page does not reflect the thoughts or
opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat.
- Don't quote me on that.
- Don't quote me on anything.
- All rights reserved.
- You may distribute this web page freely but you
may not make a profit from it.
- Web pages are subject to change without notice.
- Web pages are slightly enlarged to show detail.
- Any resemblance to actual persons, living or
dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental.
- Do not remove this web page under penalty of
- Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat.
- Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle.
- Confidentiality Notice: This web page contains
confidential information which is privileged. The information is intended
only for the use of the intended recipient named above. If you are not
the intended recipient you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying,
distribution, or the taking of any action in reliance on the contents of
this web page information except its direct delivery to the intended recipient
named above is strictly prohibited. If you have received this web page
in error, please notify us immediately by e-mail to arrange for return
of web documents to us.
- Your mileage may vary.
- No substitutions allowed.
- For a limited time only.
- This offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or
- Caveat emptor.
- Product is provided "as is" without
- User assumes full responsibility.
- An equal opportunity web page employer.
- No shoes, no shirt, no web pages.
- Quantities are limited while supplies last.
- If any defects are discovered, do not attempt
to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center.
- Read at your own risk.
- Parental advisory - explicit lyrics.
- Text may contain explicit materials some readers
may find objectionable; parental guidance is advised.
- Keep away from sunlight.
- Keep away from pets and small children.
- Limit one-per-family please.
- No money down.
- No purchase necessary.
- You need not be present to win.
- Some assembly required.
- Batteries not included.
- Instructions are included.
- Action figures sold separately
- This product contains no (zero) jewels.
- No preservatives added.
- Slippery when wet.
- Safety goggles may be required during use.
- Sealed for your protection, do not use if safety
seal is broken.
- Call before you dig.
- This item is intended only to be used as a can
cooler and not as a flotation device for cats, guinea pigs, squirrels,
or other unsuspecting wildlife.
- Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse.
- For external use only.
- If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops,
- Use only with proper ventilation.
- Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool
- Keep away from open flames.
- Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling
- Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120
- Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source.
- Smoking these web pages could be hazardous to
- The best safeguard, second only to abstinence,
is the use of a condom.
- No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added.
- Stock prices are delayed 15 minutes.
- If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms
persist, consult a physician.
- Web pages are ribbed for your pleasure.
- Possible penalties for early withdrawal.
- Offer valid only at participating Usenet sites.
- Slightly higher west of the Rockies.
- Allow four to six weeks for delivery.
- Must be 18 to enter.
- Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning,
flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and
other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper installation, incorrect
line voltage, improper or unauthorized repair, broken antenna or marred
cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from
nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not
covered in the web page list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash,
ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item,
falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile
(which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BBs,
shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta
and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.).
- Other restrictions may apply.
- If something offends you, lighten up, get a life,
and move on.
- No animals were harmed in the production of this
- This warranty is a promise by us to you as the
user that we will repair certain faults. It is not a warranty, guarantee,
or promise that your product will conform to its specification or will
- Length of financing may affect rate.
- Deposits may not be available for immediate withdrawal.
- The Post Office will not deliver mail without
- Effective January 1, 1983, this notice becomes
part of the conditions of contract between the airline and the passenger.
If there is any inconsistency between the incorporated terms described
below and the terms and conditions in the passenger's ticket, these incorporated
- Air transportation to be provided between points
in the U.S. (including its overseas territories and possessions) is subject
to the individual terms of the transporting air carriers, which are herein
incorporated by reference and made part of the contract of carriage. Foreign
air transportation is governed by applicable tariffs on file with the U.S.
and other governments. Incorporated terms may include, but are not restricted
- l. Limits on liability for personal injury or
- 2. Limits on liability for baggage, including
fragile or perishable goods, and availability of excess valuation coverage.
- 3. Claims restrictions, including time periods
in which passengers must file a claim or bring an action against the air
- 4. Rights of the air carrier to change terms
of the contract.
- 5. Rules on reconfirmation of reservations, check-in
times, and refusal to carry.
- 6. Rights of the air carrier and limits on liability
for delay or failure to perform service, including schedule changes, substitution
of alternate air carriers or aircraft and rerouting.
- You can obtain additional information on items
1through 6 above at any U.S. location where the transporting air carrier's
tickets are sold.
- You have the right to inspect the full text of
each transporting air carrier's terms at its airport and city ticket offices.
You also have the right, upon request, to receive free of charge the full
text of the applicable terms incorporated by reference from each of the
transporting air carriers. information on ordering the full text of each
air carrier's terms is available at any U.S. location where the air carrier's
tickets are sold.
- Purchase nonrefundable ticket by June 12 for
travel by September 24. Seats are limited.
- Fare does not include airport tax of 3 to 6 dollars.
Nonstops not offered to all destinations. Other restrictions apply.
- If the passenger's journey involves an ultimate
destination or stop in a country other than the country of departure, the
Warsaw Convention may be applicable and the Convention governs and in most
cases limits the liability of carriers for death or personal injury and
for loss of or damage to baggage.
- Option to purchase at end of lease based on 12,000
miles per year on approval of credit. Finance charges accrue from date
- All prices plus tax, license, and dock fees.
- All entries must be postmarked. No photocopies
or mechanically reproduced entries will be accepted. Not responsible for
lost, misdirected, damaged, incomplete, or illegible mail. Odds of winning
are based on number of entries. Winner is responsible for all applicable
taxes. Offer limited to stock on hand.
- Lease 299 a month for 36 months 6579.26 cash
total of payments 11625.48 lease end value 22214.98 based on 15,000 miles
per year on approval of credit; one at this price, VIN # 140197 85 Pontiac
Fiero 3995, VIN # 224432, call 1-800-916-LEXUS for details.
- Random drawing will be conducted under supervision
of an independent judging organization whose decisions are final.
- Limit: one prize per family or household.
- Prizes not transferable.
- Winners will be notified and may be required
to complete an affidavit of eligibility/liability - publicity release which
must be signed and returned so that it is received within 14 days of date
printed on notification or alternate winners will be selected at random.
- Failure to comply results in forfeiture of all
rights to prize. Guests accompanying travel prize winner must sign and
return liability/publicity release prior to travel.
- If a prize or prize notification letter is returned
as undeliverable, prize is forfeited and an alternate winner will be selected
in a random drawing.
- Prizes fulfilled within approximately 60 days
of recept of executed affidavits and releases.
- All taxes on prizes and other expenses related
to prizes not specified herein are the responsibility of the winners.
- Acceptance of prizes constitutes permission (except
where prohibited) to user winners names, hometowns, and likenesses for
promotional purposes without additional compensation.
- Winners and their travel companions, and their
respective heirs, assigns, executors and administrators, release and exempt
the sponsor and its respective officers, employees and agents (collectively
"Releasees") from any and all actions, claims, and demands
which they have or may acquire by reason of loss arising out of their use
of any prize, including but not limited to personal injury or death.
- Minors must be accompanied by an adult on all
- All the opinions expressed in this posting are
mine, all mine and nothing but mine, and have nothing at all to do with
my employer. Unless, of course, they are particularly witty, interesting
or generally worth a lot of money.
- Please excuse any errors in the above. Occasional
lapses of omniscience is the price I pay for being implementable.
- This disclaimer disclaims the disclamation of
its disclaimancy and anything else you want to be disclaimed.
- The thoughts presented herein are dictated to
me by people I do not know, and over whom I have no control whatsoever.
- Nothing I say can be taken down and used in evidence
against me and that goes for my dog too.
- According to my latest profit-sharing report,
I speak for a little less than 0.00001% of Tektronix.
- I'm not even allowed to post a proper disclaimer,
let alone the opinions of this Institution!
- My opinion is that people are too opinionated
about opinions and offer unnecessary opinions on whose opinions they actually
are... but that's just my opinion.
- I didn't do it... I wouldn't refuse to deny that
I had dismissed the thought of not doing it, but I didn't do it.
- The opinions expressed are not necessarily those
of my employer, or, for that matter, any other fellow human beings or other
worldly inhabitants. They just spew forth.
- The opinions stated herein are my own to my knowledge.
If, however, you happen to agree with me, they can be yours too, after
paying me the required fee.
- Opinions this ludicrous are mine. Reasonable
opinions will cost you.
- I disclaim that there is any claim on this disclaimer
(or, so I claim).
- Avoid eye contact. In case of contact, flush
mind for 15 minutes. See a psychiatrist if irritation persists. Not to
be taken seriously. Keep out of sight of children.
- The usual disclaimers apply anywhere you can
find a sticky spot.
- My employers seldom even LISTEN to my opinions.
- If Tektronix agreed with what I said, I'd get
paid a lot more.
- Read carefully before you invest or send money.
- Must be accompanied or preceded by a prospectus.
- Disclaimer: Ok, I don't claim her
- These onions are MINE and not those of my EMPLOYER.
No, wait, that should be OPINIONS. I have no idea whose onions these are.
- Seat availability is limited and seats may not
be available on all flights.
- Travel for qualifying trips must occur between
2/12 and 2/13.
- Fares are one-way requiring a round-trip purchase
21 days in advance or 28 days in advance during leap years.
- Minimum stay of 4 days is required, except for
Tuesday departures which require a 7 day minimum stay.
- Fares are non-refundable and may not be available
when you call.
- Passenger must be a Sagittarius, unless the moon
is in Jupiter.
- Fares may be higher for travel on peak days,
summer solstice, and employee birthdays.
- Travel must commence by 5/3 for frequent flyer
members and between enrollment date and 5/6 for new members.
- A Saturday night stay is required, but if originating
on a Saturday, only a Wednesday morning stay is required.
- Tickets may be used only when accompanied by
- Phoenix-to-Los Angeles route may include unannounced
stops in Atlanta or Madrid.
- Fares do not include "nonpertainable aviation
compensation fees," which may be extra.
- Sale tickets prohibit the use of restrooms during
- Fares are subject to random adjustments on five
- Seat availability is limited and some passengers
may be required to stand.
- Travel is valid in the Continental U.S. only
and the Central Time Zone only on alternate Sundays.
- Reservations are required.
- No jeans, T-shirts, sandals, shorts, striped
or polka-dotted clothing may be worn by passengers holding sale tickets.
- This offer not valid in conjunction with any
discount coupon, voucher, certificate or promotional offer by any airline,
video rental outlet or supermarket.
- Tickets may be given to family members except
second cousins and relatives who never call or write but visit every year
at Christmas time.
- Identification and/or character witnesses may
- Terms and conditions are subject to change without
- Stopovers not allowed.
- Not valid for travel during months ending in
"R." This offer void were prohibited by law, where people just
don't like it, or wherever you happen to live.
- For a complete list of new and amended regulations
associated with this offer, keep watching this space on this web page.
IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons
with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious
beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination,
distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either
explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux
pas. Unless the word "absquatulation" has been used in its correct
context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any
legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.
No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the
kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of
you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to
learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning
backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However,
by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer
you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have
received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites
and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours.
Return to Quantics Home Page